So Wait WHAT happend?
by RomylusHikaru
Summary: Each organization member tells how the hell the kitchen blew up. I only work on this when I feel like it. T for Language
1. WHAT happend?

Okaayyy!! The cookie Disaster!!

------------------------Xemnas----------------------

He stood in the middle of the kitchen.

Well, What USE to be kitchen...

"This..." Xemnas kicked over a pan which was on the floor, "Will need some explaining to do."

The surperior had been only his daily check thoughout the Castle that Never was. He rarely stopped to looked at the kitchen, due to the fact Saïx was incharge of keeping it in check. And Xemnas trusted Saïx , he trust him** alot**. So, why is the kitchen obliverated and covered in a mush of dough and chocolate chips? Well, he wanted to find out.

The room was already filled with the mush, also every member of the organization XII was perched somewhere along the room. Most of the members were covered in filth, the rest were so thrashed that they blended with in the mess."Where's...Saïx..." Xemnas said slowly, as if speaking to grade schoolers.

He observered the room, only stopping when he saw a curve of blue behind the kitchen counter, moving lightly.

"Saïx." He said in a stern voice, the blue curve twitched and rose slowly, revieling a dough-covered Saïx.

The bluenette huffed and glanced at Xemnas. He had dough mushed onto his left cheek and smuthered randomly in his hair, it was obvious that his Organization coat was off, revieling a mush-covered shite T-shirt.

"Yes...superior?"

"What happened in here?"

"I..." Saïx paused and looked away, embarrassed.

"Hmm..?"

"I wanted cookies." Saïx blushed and rocked on his heels, acting very childish.

Xemnas surveyed the room, looking at the content faces, well, dough-covered faces. They all seemed to agree with Saïx.

"Alright, who would like to explain what happend?" Everyone raised thier hands, eagerly looking at Xemnas.

Yup, this was just like teaching grade school.

"Alright, we'll go by rank--"

"HA!! YEAHH!! IN YOUR FACE, DUDES!!" Xigbar hollered, standing up and hitting his fist in the air. Xemnas sighed and nodded,

"Okay, please, explain."


	2. Xigbar's DUDES

II :: Xigbar

--------Dude!--------

Xigbar's hiar as down, revieling long black hair with grey-white streaks. His eye patch was still over his right eye, but the scar on his left cheek was completely covered in dough which dripped off occasionally.

He swayed his hand in the air, mumbling to himself. "Kay, Mansex, THIS is how it ALL happend, dude..."

---------Xigbar's story--------

_"Suuhh... like. Kay, I was like walking 'round, mind'en my own buisness when like, the Sai dude was like, 'Dude, Dem, go do somthin' else and like... make cookie fo' me!'_

_And I like, walked into the kitchen like, 'Dude! I wan't sum cookies too! Chya!'_

_Suuh like, Dem-dem here din' know how to make cookies. So, like, he was all like, 'Aye Zex-dude, go like, help me like, make _cookies, chya?'

_And the Zex-dude was all like, 'Chya, totally.'_

_So like, Sex-Dude, I mean, Zex-dude like pulled out dis book. And like. Dem-dem was like, 'Dude, read et fo' me, kay?'_

_And like, Zex-dude was like, 'Chyya.' "_

There was a sudden book that flew by and hit Xigbar on the head, causing a loud thump. "I DO **NOT** SPEAK LIKE THAT!!" Everyone looked around, but they couldn't see Zexion, so they just shrugged and turned back to Xigbar.

_"Okay! So like... Zex-dude and Dem were all like, readin' the book thing. Lexy-ass came outta no where en like brough all dis flour and stuff. _

_So like, dem was like, 'Ohh Xigbar, less go to my room an---'"_

Another book came flying at Xigbar. "LIES!! STOP ACTING LIKE AXEL!!!

"WHATEVER DUDE!! SHUDDUP AND LET ME TELL THE STORY!!" Xigbar scoffed, growling, "Kay, anyways."

_"Dem wuz makin' cookies with Zex-dude and Lexy-ass was all watchin' and like, bringing all dis flour and crap. Sai-dude was all sitting on his ass doin' stuff. Then like, Larx-chick, Marly, Axe, Rox, n' Xaldude like... appeared. And were like, 'Dude, I wan sum cookies too!' _

_So Zex-dude was like, 'STFU!!' But like, Axe was like, 'Roar.' So like,Dem like, made mur cookies. Then like, Sai-dude came outta the closet like, 'DUde! I'm GaySex for Mansex!' and Ev'one wuz like, 'DUHH!!' _

_Kay, so Vexsex came like, wow. And like, then started talking shit with Axe._

_So af'ur that, teh cookies were done so Dem wus like, 'they won't fit in da oven-cooking-thing.'_

_Axe wuz like, 'Imma use meh fire-poweness to like, heat et up.'_

_BUT RIGHT AS HE WAS GONNA DO THAT!! Stupid brit came and like, exploded teh cookies.'"_

"And that's how it all happend." Xigbar nodded to himself.

There was a moment of stern silence, only to be broken by an angry Luxord. "AYE,MATE!! That's all RUBBISH!! You're just JEALIOUS 'cause Demyx love has a more Likeing to ME!!" He growled. The two nobodies exchanged glares and cursses.

Xemnas blinked and sighed. "Well...since when did Luxord have the power to make things Explode?" He sighed again, "Next, Xaldin."


	3. Xaldin's DATE RAPE

Haha. Sublime, Date Rape, not my song. I thought this would be pretty Out of Character for Xaldin, so I made him o this... Sorry!

------------------

Every turned to Xaldin who cleared his throat. His eyes were closed and he as swinging his foot back and forth. Finally, he sighed and started,

"_Let me tell you about a girl I know,  
Had a drink about an hour ago.Sitting in a corner by herself, in a bar in downtown hell.  
She heard a noise and she looked through the door.  
And saw a man shed never seen before.  
Light skin, light blue eyes, a double-chin and a plastic smile.  
Well, her eyebrow raised as he walked through the door  
And took an empty seat next to her at the bar.  
my brand new car is parked right outside. howd ya like to go for a ride?  
And she said.wait a minute I have to think.  
He said, thats fine. may I please buy you a drink  
One drink turned into 3 or 4 and they left and got into his car  
And they drove away someplace real far. "_

_  
_Everyone grew silent. Xaldin wasn't even looking at anyone..and was he...singing?! "Uhmm... Xaldin...what does this have to do with"

Xigbar put a hand over Xemnas' mouth, "SHHH!!! Dude!! I like the way HE tells the story."

Xaldin payed no attention, continueing._  
"Now babe the time has come.  
Howd ya like to have a little fun?  
And she said. if we could only please be on our way, I will not run.  
Thats when things got out of control.  
She didnt want to, he had his way.  
She said, lets go  
He said, no way!  
Come on babe its your lucky day.  
Shut your mouth, were gonna do it my way.  
Come on baby dont be afraid,  
If it wasnt for date rape Id never get laid."_

There was an "EEP!" from the audience, everyone looked around, only to see a blushing Saix. "Damn dude, You LIKED the last line, din't chya?" Xigbar scoffed. Saix glared at him then slowly they all turned back to Xaldin.

_He finished up and he started the car  
He turned around and drove back to the bar.  
He said.now baby dont be sad, in my opinion you werent half-bad.  
She picked up a rock.,threw it at the car, hit him in the head, now his got a big scar.  
Come on party people wont you listen to me.  
Date rape stylie.  
The next day she went to her drawer, looked up her local attorney at law,  
Went to the phone and filed the police report and then she took the guys ass to court.  
Well, the day he stood in front of the judge he screamed, she lies that little slut!  
The judge knew that he was full of shit and he gave him 25 years  
And now his heart is filled with tears.  
That night in jail it was getting late.  
He was butt-raped by a large inmate, and he screamed.  
But the guards paid no attention to his cries.  
Thats when things got out of control.  
The moral of the date rape story, it does not pay to be drunk and horny.  
But thats the way it had to be.  
They locked him up and threw away the key.  
Well, I cant take pity on men of his kind,  
Even though he now takes it in the behind.  
Thats the way it had to be.  
They locked him up and threw away the key.  
Well, I cant take pity on men of his kind,  
Even though he now takes it in the behind.  
Date rape!!!"_

Everyone was silent for a good 5 mintutes or so, "Take what?"

"Nothing, Demyx." Everyone said in unison, not bothering to look around. Xemnas sighed and tapped on Xaldin's shoulder who jolted and pulled out his earphones. "W-wha...?"

"Ooohh!" Everyone said in unison, once again.

"Vexen... Please... Next." Xemnas shook his head as Xaldin looked around confused.

----------------------

you won't really get this chapter unless you listen to the song Date Rape by Sublime. Yeahh... Xaldin was singing.


	4. Vexen's Peanutbutter

Oooohhh.. It's currently really late at night and I can't sleep. So I'll work on my crack-ish fanfic. x3 This one is really... I don't like it. And it looks like Vexen doesn't like Axel.

------------Oh no, It's Vexen.--------------

The scientist stood slowly and dusted himself off, well rather, he TIRED to. Marluxia seemed to be connected to his let arm, making it a bit hard to move. "Number. XI... Will. You. Please. UNHAND ME!!" He growled, pulling from Marluxia who only tightened his grip.

"Oh but Vexen! You have dough ALL OVER YOU!! Let me help you take it off!!" The pink haired teen purred, giggling slightly.

"For the last time, Marluxia, I will NOT take my shirt off... nor will I let you lick my cheek! My face is perfectly clean, and I do NOT want you to change that variable." He murmered.

Well, it was the truth. Due to the fact Vexen was currently the cleanest in the room, Only the bottom and edges of his boots were filthy, maybe a spot on his shin and knee, but nothing more. Most likely because he flew behind Lexaeus before anything came hurlng at him.

Xemnas raised an eyebrow then cleared his throat. "Marluxia, please let Vexen speak."

"Bu--"

"Now."

Marluxia whimpered and let Vexen go, sulking lightly. Vexen glared at him, most likely to hide his concern. "Ahem... as i was saying...

_Certainly, I was inside my lab, dealing with a certain NOBODY who couldn't HELP but to VIOLATE my PERSONAL space. Isn't that right, MARLUXIA? As I was...saying... After eminently working in my lab, I perceived that I was in a state of, rather, hunger. So to cease this yearn and keep a homostasis, I was in a way forced my by own body, to the kitchen._

_At that time, one I walked in, minding my own buisness, something stuck me._

_"We're out of peanut butter." I mumbled to Demyx. Not a very smart thing to do. For after telling him the problem, he immediately reported to Saix. I do recall hearing him persueing the Lunar Diviner to go with him to buy the butter of the Peanuts._

_After a good amount of minutes, Saix, keeping his cool, had suggested Demyx to bake sweets. Unfortunately, this would take a while, and I was quite hungry. So I insisted that number nine should ask for assistance._

_He swiftly choose Zexion._

_After that, I payed more attention to making a sandwich. But just as Demyx, Zexion, and Lexaeus were mixing and making the batter, XI, XII, III, and XIII came in. they all insisted that they also wanted sweets, which was aggrivating for me since more sweets would take longer to make, Not to mention Saix and I have been waiting on the three to finish the batter. Which meant they needed to make more._

_After that, I vaguely remeber what happend... but one thing is for sure..._

IT'S ALL AXEL'S FAULT!! THAT PYRO MANIAC DID IT ALLL!!!! WITH THE HELP OF MARLUXIA!!!"

Vexen wildly pointed at Marluxia and Axel, his mouth gaping with anger.

"Ohhh..babe, you don't MEAN that..." Marluxia pouted, wrapping his arms around Vexen and nuzzling his head to the other's chest. In the mean time, Vexen ans Axel exchanged looks.

"Get a ROOM!!" Axel howled, smirking.

"Stay out of everyone else's quarters, Axel." Vexen growled.

"...We live in quarters...?"

"Shut up Demyx..." Everyone sighed. The organization went back to Xemnas who was massaging the sides of his head with his fingertips. _Damn, this is so bad for my migrain..._

"Lexeaus...are you even going to speak...?" He looked around. "Lexaeus?"


	5. Lexaeus'Wall?

This chapter is short...Like Roxas! :3

well...

Xemnas looked around, along with the rest of the visible organization members. "V... Lexaeus...LEXAEUS!!" Xemnas growled then hit the wall next to him with his fist.

"Owch..." Everyone jolted and looked at the wall which Xemnas was once leaning on. The so-called wall was actually Lexaeus, covered head to toe with the white-brown cream. Xemnas thought he was just another piece of covered furniture.

Xigbar made a large gasp, vwooping unsidedown on the ceiling, holding his pistol as he aimed at Lexaeus' head, "DUDE, IT'S THU COOKIE-DUDE MONSTUR!!! DO. NOT. PANIC, YO!! I GOTS 'EM!!" He was about to shoot but another book, yet again, came flying at him, knocking him down. "FREAKIN ZEX-SEX!!! C'MOUTTA YER HIDING PLACE!! I swear, dude, I'll like... find ya stick mai gun so fur up yer a--"

"May I start on how it happend, sir?" The 'wall' asked.

"HOCRAP IT TALKS!!!" Xemnas hit Xigbar in the head, sighing.

"Yes, please do, Lexaeus."

_"Well... I just finished bathroom duty so I went to put the cleaning supplies back. After my last stop, I saw Zexion... who was reading. Me and him were talking. But in the other room near the kitchen... We heard Saix argueing... with my little brother. So--"_

"Lexaeus, what little brother?" Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

"Oh... Demyx, sir."

"He's your brother?"

"No... but I love him just as if he was my ow--"

"Continue. Now."

_"Well... Saix was agrueing with Demyx... or more so cute little Demyx just wanted to pwai but mean wittle Saix was being a bully. But then Saix mentioned...uhm... cookies I think. After that, Xigbar came walking down the hall...also wanting cookies._

_Poor dem didn't know howdda make cookies... So he came to Zexion._

_Zexion didn't want to help, so I politely asked.--"_

"YOU FREAKIN THREATEND ME!!!" Zexion's voice growled.

_"Well.. I POLITELY asked if he could oh so kindly lend a hand to Demmy... And he did. So we went to the kitchen and decided to make chocolate chip cookies..._

_So at first Zexion was only reading the instructions and pointing things out to Demyx... then I tagged along and help mix and add stuff. But right before we put the dough in..._

_Uhh..._

_A unicorn, pretty roses, and a faiery came...and..._

_Gave Demyx the abitlity...to...uhmm... Fly." _Lexaeus stuttered, munbling lightly.

"GASPS!! UNICORNNN!!!" Demyx squealed, his voice was the only evidence that he was there.

There was a long, very long, moment of silence. Eveyone stared at Lexaeus, who uncomfotable shifted around. "dude... you... SERIOUSLY... need to get laid... Like, maybe even more than Vexen!!" Xigbar scoffed.

"I can help!" MArluxia squealed, clapping his hands.

"Oh no you won't!!" Vexen growled, holding Marluxia back.

"Oh Vexy-baby, I KNEW YOU CARED!!" Marluxia pounced on Vexen, and they fell on the floor in a mess of locking lips.

Followed by yet again a moment of silence. 'Lexaeus... please... Learn to... not be to nice at times."

"Ya mean NOT TO BE PANSY?!" Xigbar laughed and elowed Xaldin, who was still listening to his music.

"Zexion, you're next...oh, and... VEXEN, MARLUXIA, WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT DOING **THAT** IN PUBLIC PLACES?! AND XIGBAR, PUT THAT VIDEOCAMERA AWAY!!"


	6. The EMO BLOB

Weelll... I've decided to update. 3

------

Xemnas hit his forehead with his palm, mumbling to himself. He was at the sixth member, it feels as if as he goes down, the stories get more and more idiotic, or maybe it was the people telling the story. He thought for a second, _Zexion is next...Good. A well thought out memeber, he out to do the trick. _The superior nodded to himself, taking a short looks around. Zexion, the next in line to tell the tale, was no wher in plain sight. _Well... I found Lexaues, so how hard could this be?_

"Number six, please step forward." There was a muffled sound then a few squishes, Xigbar and Vexen raised an eyebrow, nothing changed. "Number six, I said---"

"PffftttTTT!!! Yer NEVER gonna get em' out like that, dude! Watch n' learnnn..." Xigbar cracked his knuckles, taking a deep breath, "AYE EMO-DUDE!!! C'MON OUTTA YER CORNER!!" There was no response. Vexen let out a muffled laugh, Xemnas looked apalled at the Free Shooter. "Whoa whoa...dude... let me try one more---"

"SHUT UP!!" Everyone visible turned and faced a large...well... Bloob.

It had no apparent shape, but it seemed to be standing upright. Also, Zexion's voice emmitied from it, so...

"HOCRAP IT TALKS!!!" Xigbar and Marluxia said in unison, summoning thier weapons."

"Arms...down...now..." Xemnas let out the (at least) tenth sigh. He massaged his temples, groaning in arratation.

Apparently, Marluxia and Xigbar got the 'blob' mad for it clearly cursed several words, growled and seemingly barked. All in the same second.

"I think it's hungry..." Everyone stared at the beaming Marluxia, even Xaldin.

"What do ya think it eats?" Xigbar, on the other hand, took Marluxia seriously. A bit to seriously.

"It. Eats. NOBODIES!!!" The pink assasin stomped around, opening and closing his mouth as if he was eating. "Nyar!! NYAR!!!" Pow. "Owwiiee, oh Vexy-poo!!!" Vexen had hit him fully on the nose with a dough-covered mixing spoon.

"Shuddup so we can get this over with," The chilly achedemic faced the blob, clearing his throat. "Ahem, _Zexion," _A couple of people gasped, "Please, do tell."

Xemnas passed a towel to the Blob, who formed a hand out of no where and started to dry himself off, slowly forming a very aggitated Zexion. "Thank you Vexen..." He hissed, glaring at the other occupants in the room. The was Leaxus, Saix, Xemnas, Xigbar, Marluxia, Vexen, Luxord, and Axel looked at Zexion, who unzipped his damp cloak and set it aside.

"WHOOO!!! YEH!!! TAKE IT ALL OFFF!!!" Marluxia howled, starting to undo his cloak, only to be hit by Vexen and Lexeaus at thesame time.

"THERE'S KIDS IN THIS ROOM!!!" Vexen and Lexeaus looked at each other for a 'WTF' moment.

Without being told twice, Zexion started to speak.

-------

_"I have nothing to do what so ever with this mess... I just want to get that point across..." He cleared his throat and glared at Saix, who pouted like an injured animal. "HE ordered IX to bake cookies!" He pointed at Lexeaus, snarling anrgrily. "HE THREATEND me to help Demyx." Zexion waved his arms around, muttering a few things then pointing at everyone in sight. "YOU'RE ALL STUPID IDIOTS THAT-"_

_----------------_

"FRICKLY FLAGGLE BLAH BLAH BLOOGLE!!!" Luxord hollered over Zexion voice, stomping a foot.

The once-quiet Axel burst out laughing, holding his ribs.

"OH THAT WAS RICH!!! You're all figgle blaggle nah nah nag!! HAHA!!" The pyro fell on his knees, rolling around on the floor. "Oh! Oh! And THEN what Zexy? You pulled out a razor blade and- Pfffttt- Threatend to cut yourself if the world wasn't perfect?! HAHA!!"

While Axel went through giggle-fits, Zexion tried in all his might not to strangle the pyro. At least, not to strangle him infront of the superior, it would make him seem all the less... Mature?

"What the HELL was that, Luxord? Frickle Foogle Imma Fag-lle?" Xigbar snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Balogna! I just didn't wunt t' hear em' speak of that thaht way!" Luxord snapped back, crossing his arms. "Besides! If

ANYWUN in here wus to be called a Fag, it would y--"

"MEEE!!!!" Marluxia chimed happily, squleaing with joy. Everyone nodded.

"Marluxia... that's a bad thing..." Vexen nudged.

"It... is?" Marluxia's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Haii guys... What's a fag...?"

"Nothing Demyx!!" Everyone replied to thin air.

Xaldin yawned and muttered a few things, tapping his foot."--A better kiss... A harder touch, a better_ fuck, _than any boy you'd ever meet---"

"MY EARS!! THEY BLEEEEDDDD!!!!" Axel howled, holding his ears, "SHUT UP XALDIN!!!"

Xemnas contiuously hit his head on the counter, halted for a second to point at Saix, as a sign to speak.


	7. Uhmm He didn't even Speak

Well, things have been going on so I haven't been able to continue a lot of my writing. BUT LOOKIE!! Here is some...

--Saix--

Right as Xemnas pointed, everyone snapped their heads at Saix, who was cradling himself in the corner. He was obviously muttering something about, "I'm a bad boy..." Or, "I disobeyed the superior..." Or. "The mooonnn.."

"Seriously Mansex, what do you do to the guy in bed?!" Xigbar gapped, pointed at Saix with his thumb, over his shoulder.

"Well isn't it OBVIOUS, he IS ManSEX... So what he does to Saix is all in his name..." Axel waved a hand around, yawning in a bored manner.

Marluxia's eyes wandered towards Axel, then he gasped. "OH AXEL!! YOU POOR BABY!!" He cooed, his hands on his cheeks dramatically. "YOU POOR THINGG!!"

"Wahh...?" Axel raised his half eyebrow, his lips half pulled down. In other words, he made a very ugly face at Marluxia.

"YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PENIS WITH YOU!!" Marluxia almost screamed out, totally serious.

Vexen coughed violently, most likely choking on his own spit. Xemnas and Xigbar leaned against each other laughing hysterically, hitting each other from laughter now and then. A hand was over Zexion's mouth, yet he giggled and snorted uncontrollably. As for Lexeaus and Luxord, they were both on the floor snorting and coughing at Marluxia's comment. Everyone was all the more entertained or disgusted.

Axel's face was redder than his hair, steam literally rose from him. "What the _fruucckk _are you talking about, pansy?!" He gritted his teeth together, clenching his fists. Boy was he embarrassed.

"O-oh... Sorry. Did I say _penis_?" Everyone nodded, snorting and letting out small laughs once more. "Oh! OHH!! Sorry, I meant you're OTHER manhood--" Everyone gasped, then it was followed be an 'Ewwww' then another violent fit of laughter.

"WHAT OTHER MANHOOD?! WHAT THE HELLL!?" Axel summoned his chakrams, twisting them repetitively in his fingers, flinching to throw one at the Assassin.

"I d-didn't get to finish yet!! ROXAS!! I MEAN THAT MANHOOD!! ROOXXAASSS!!" He cowardly twitched and inched toward Vexen, then Marluxia hooked himself on the other's arm.

"How'd you get penis mixed with Roxas?" Zexion said between giggle-snorts.

"Well... both of them are always with Axel, Both of them are pretty small, and both of them are usually connected to Axel's inner hip in someway or another!" Marly gleefully pointed out, jumping up and down happily.

Axel's eye twitched, "Small..." He muttered in a growl. His chakrams were already gone, but his anger wasn't. "GASPS!! MARLY!! YOU'RE RIGHT!! WHERE'S MAH ROXY-POO!!" Axel forgot all about his anger, making a dramatic pose. "TO THE BED ROOM!! FEAR NOT ROXY, I'M COMMING!!"

"I'LL COME TOO!! YAY FOR THREESO--" Marluxia was grabbed by the hood then pulled to the floor by Vexen.

"Oh no you don't."

Axel scurried out of the room along with a video camera equipped Marluxia and a curious Vexen. Not to mention Marluxia needed baby-sitting which was one of the main reasons why Vexen tagged along.

Once the door leading out of the kitchen shut, the room fell into an utter silence. Xigbar's and Luxord's breath was husky and full of gasps for laughing so hard. The anxiety slowly built up, everyone wanted to ask the question but no one knew if it was the right time. Zexion glanced at Lexaeus who raised an eye brow in response.

Zexion cleared his throat, everyone focusing their attention on him. "Uh… Superior, I was wondering but--"

Xemnas quickly shot his head to the side, but too late, Saix was gone.

Everyone glanced at each other.

"So, wait, WHAT happened?!" Everyone huffed in unison.


End file.
